From My Bookshelf — Day 63
What you’ll see is that your mind is always telling you that you have to change something outside in order to solve your inner problems. But if you are wise, you won’t play this game. You’ll realize that the advice your mind is giving you is psychologically damaged advice. Your mind’s thoughts are disturbed by its fears. Of all the advice in the world that you do not want to listen to, it is the advice of a disturbed mind. Your mind actually misleads you.
Once you see this, you realize the mind has a serious underlying problem. And what it’s doing is making up external situations that might make things more comfortable. But the external situations are not the cause of the inner problem. They are merely an attempt to solve the problem.
The fact is, however, external changes are not going to solve your problem because they don’t address the root of your problem. The root problem is that you don’t feel whole and complete within yourself. If you don’t identify the root properly, you will seek someone or something to cover it up. That is why people have so much trouble with relationships. You began with a problem inside yourself, and you tried to solve it by getting involved with somebody else. That relationship will have problems because your problems are what caused the relationship. It is all so easy to see once you step back and dare to look at it honestly.
Your current relationship with your psyche is like an addiction. It is constantly making demands of you, and you have devoted your life to serving these demands. If you want to be free, you have to learn to treat it like any other addiction.
When your mind starts telling you what you have to do to make everything inside okay, don’t buy into what it’s telling you. The truth is, everything will be okay as soon as you are okay with everything. And that’s the only time everything will be okay.
All you have to do is stop expecting the mind to fix what’s wrong inside of you. That is the core, the root of it all. Your mind is not the guilty party. In fact, your mind is innocent. The mind is simply a computer, a tool. It can be used to ponder great thoughts, solve scientific problems, and serve humanity. But you, in your lost state, told it to spend its time conjuring up outer solutions for your very personal inner problems. You are the one who is trying to use the analytical mind to protect yourself from the natural unfolding of life.
By watching your mind, you will notice that it is engaged in the process of trying to make everything okay. Consciously remember that this is not what you want to do, and then gently disengage. Do not fight it. Do not ever fight your mind. You will never win. It will either beat you now, or you will suppress it and it will come back and beat your later. Instead of fighting the mind, just don’t participate in it. When you see the mind telling you how to fix the world and everyone in it in order to suit yourself, just don’t listen.
The key is to be quiet. It’s not that your mind has to be quiet. You be quiet. You, the one inside watching the neurotic mind, just relax. You will then naturally fall behind the mind because you have always been there. You are not the thinking mind; you are aware of the thinking mind. You are the consciousness that is behind the mind and is aware of the thoughts. The minute you stop putting your whole heart and soul into the mind as if it were your savior and protector, you will find yourself behind the mind watching it. That’s how you know about your thoughts: you are in there watching them. Eventually, you will be able to just sit in there quietly, and consciously watch the mind.
Once you reach that state, your problems with the mind are over. When you pull back behind the mind, you, the awareness, are not involved in the process of thinking. Thinking is something you watch the mind do. You are just in there, aware that you are aware. You are the indwelling being, the consciousness. It is not something that you have to think about; you are it. You can watch the mind being neurotic and not get involved. That is all you have to do to unplug the disturbed mind. The mind runs because you are giving it the power of your attention. Withdraw your attention, and the thinking mind falls away.
When you start to see this stuff going on inside, you just relax your shoulders, relax your heart, and fall back behind it. Do not touch it. Do not get involved in it. And do not try to stop it. Simply be aware that you are seeing it. That’s how you get out. You just let it go.
Ultimately, every change in your energy flow, whether it’s agitation of the mind or shifts in the heart, will be what reminds you that you are back there noticing. Now what used to hold you down becomes what wakes you up. But first you have to get quiet enough so that it’s not so reactive in there. These trigger points will help remind you to remain centered. Eventually it will become quiet enough so that you can simply watch the heart begin to react, and let go before the mind starts. At some point in the journey it all becomes heart, not mind. You will see that the mind follows the heart. The heart reacts way before the mind starts talking. When you are conscious, the shifts of energy in your heart cause you to instantaneously be aware that you are back there noticing. The mind doesn’t even get a chance to start up because you let go at the heart level.
Now you are on your way.
Michael A. Singer — The Untethered Soul (pp. 92-97)
I know I suggest many of the books I post about are all great in their own way; however, there are very few books (if any) where I have underlined, commented, starred, and reread more than The Untethered Soul. When I started reading this book, I literally COULD NOT PUT IT DOWN!
Me and my crazy mind!
I let it get the best of me often. I have conversations with people in my mind that aren’t very nice. I silently cuss people out, tell them how dumb they are, act superior and holier-than-thou. Sometimes before I’m able to lasso my mind to the ground I have movie-length conversations without ever speaking one audible word.
I know. It’s like I’m the only crazy one in the world who does this, right? Guess again.
Anyone with a mind who hasn’t done loads of work to understand and accept themselves faces this very thing I’m talking about—sometimes on an hourly basis. “Of all the advice in the world that you do not want to listen to, it is the advice of a disturbed mind. Your mind actually misleads you.” My mind, if gone unchecked, will cause me more disturbance than anything or anyone external ever could. “You be quiet. You, the one inside watching the neurotic mind, just relax.” Learning to relax my mind has become a full-time job. Learning to let my thoughts simply race through my mind—much the same way clouds drift by in the sky—and simply be a witness to those thoughts without becoming emotionally attached to them is the key.
I’m a pretty laid-back relaxed person and I still struggle terribly with my mind some days. I know many others who are wound much tighter than me struggle with their minds endlessly and my heart goes out to them. I can relate to not being able to calm my mind on the days I desperately wish there was an off switch.
Me and my crazy mind!
What do I do?
Here’s a short list of the things I attempt to do when my crazy mind grabs hold of my attention:
- Deep breathing
- Take a walk
- Talk to my therapist
- Call a dear trusted friend
- Watch a show
- Allow the moment to pass
“At some point in the journey it all becomes heart, not mind.” When I am able to quiet my mind and focus on my heart, that is when I find peace. Getting quiet enough to hear what my heart has to say makes all the difference in the world. I can trust my heart; it won’t lead me astray. My heart is separate from my ego and is capable of letting go of and cutting through all the B.S. of my mind. My heart is where I encounter Soul Talk and anytime I listen to my heart, my obsessive and demanding mind simply melts away.
Give it a try.
Have a blessed day.
Peace and Love,