I was listening to something–a book on Audible, a podcast, NPR–something. Then I heard the common phrase Gone, but not Forgotten.
Then they turned it around and said Forgotten, but not Gone.
I instantly shut the audio off and began reminiscing about wounds I’ve forgotten, but are never truly gone. Just because I’ve chosen to deny them, ignore them, bury them, or eat them away; doesn’t mean they are gone.
Forgotten, sure. But not gone???
Forgotten by my brain in the present moment, maybe, but my body keeps the score. My childhood wounds can be pushed so deep that they only surface in my conscious mind when I least expect them.
The five senses are a blessing and a curse all at the same time. Scents, sights, sounds, feelings, flavors, landscapes, dirt roads, freshly plowed fields, movies, songs, books……
Forgotten, but not Gone!
I finished another class tonight on my way to a counseling degree. All the reading and learning I am engrossed in moves me deeply. I am humbled to be in a position to help others with their wounds. I am humbled to sit with another and delicately unpack those difficult memories that have been strategically shoved to the depths of their consciousness.
And yet, they bubble up, when we least expect.
Our minds may have moved on. We may have been told to suck it up, get over it, forget about it, turn it over to God, let it go, or simply deny it ever happened. But guess what, it’s still there!
Forgotten, but not Gone!
My wounds are real, and they affect me still. I’m more gentle with myself than I used to be. I’m patient with that little boy still asking a million questions inside me. I assure him we’ll figure this all out together, he’s not alone, and his questions and genuine curiosity are always cherished and always welcomed.
Life has a funny way of helping us work through our difficulties. Just when you think you’ve outsmarted your wounds, they tap you on the shoulder when you least expect it and demand to be dealt with. It may be scary–and it may feel like it will split you in two–but I promise you there is freedom on the other side of your healing.
Forgotten, but not Gone!
Peace my Friends!
~Travis